Hear Me Wail

Oh you lovely lot

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 21:49:17 +0000

Occasionally this blog gets a new spunkload (the technical term) of attention, so I thought I’d better put something here.

I no longer update this tumblr, because frankly looking at the DM every day was tantamount to self harm. Also, the number of lovingly posed pictures I’ve already collected seems quite enough, thankyouverymuch.

So I hope you enjoy what’s here. Let’s all laugh at the DM and the poor souls who respond to such things as “ok, I want you to look a bit more melancholic about that EU legislated banana. Hold it nice and close to your disappointed face”.

Enjoy
FD
xxx

Café owner faces losing home and business after no-win no-fee...

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 22:40:43 +0100

Café owner faces losing home and business after no-win no-fee lawyers rack up £33,000 bill… fighting a £2,000 compensation claim because the gasman slipped over

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2168714/Caf-owner-faces-losing-home-business-win-fee-lawyers-rack-33-000—fighting-2-000-compensation-claim-gasman-slipped-over.html#ixzz1zgzcgbbn

‘Why don’t you just go eat at McDonald’s, you...

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 11:49:29 +0100

‘Why don’t you just go eat at McDonald’s, you plank?’ Burger King manager’s flame-grilled email rant after a complaint over microwaved burgers

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2166721/Burger-King-told-Charlotte-Chamberlain-eat-McDonalds-complained-food.html#ixzz1zGxbKxvc

User submission: ‘Dear mum, don’t cry but I’m...

Sat, 30 Jun 2012 11:48:43 +0100

User submission:

‘Dear mum, don’t cry but I’m dying’: Fury over school’s creative writing assignment that left a mother distraught

After a bit of a hiatus, we’re back. Last few posts were user submissions (including text), so...

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 13:52:43 +0100

After a bit of a hiatus, we’re back.

Last few posts were user submissions (including text), so thanks for sending those over!

Aftermath of fire at Doctors surgery, Canford Heath,Poole,...

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 13:51:48 +0100

Aftermath of fire at Doctors surgery, Canford Heath,Poole, Dorset.

Fire started at 0230 this morning by setting light to a wheelie bin pushed up to back door.

Arson.

I need a soaper-hero! Wannabe Incredible Hulk covers himself in...

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 13:51:35 +0100

I need a soaper-hero! Wannabe Incredible Hulk covers himself in green paint… and then discovers it won’t come off

Woman stalked by rogue kangaroo for TWO DAYS before vicious...

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 13:51:28 +0100

Woman stalked by rogue kangaroo for TWO DAYS before vicious attack which left her with 12 inch scar

That’s £20 for all-you-CAN’T-eat’: Restaurant...

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 13:51:14 +0100

That’s £20 for all-you-CAN’T-eat’: Restaurant ‘fines’ diners at Chinese buffet for leaving food on their plates

Sacked for a slice of apple pie: Little Chef waitress, 52, loses...

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 13:50:46 +0100

Sacked for a slice of apple pie: Little Chef waitress, 52, loses job after taking home her lunch

Editor’s Note: #piegate

‘Respectable’ tenants turned our house into a...

Tue, 08 May 2012 11:37:39 +0100

‘Respectable’ tenants turned our house into a cannabis farm: Couple face £20,000 bill to return their home to former state

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2140955/Respectable-tenants-turned-house-cannabis-farm-Couple-face-20-000-return-house-state.html#ixzz1uH0l2ips

Schoolgirl suspended for dyeing her hair red to look like...

Sat, 05 May 2012 16:30:26 +0100

Schoolgirl suspended for dyeing her hair red to look like Rihanna

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2139657/Schoolgirl-suspended-dyeing-hair-red-look-like-Rihanna.html#ixzz1u0ea5Jel

Editor’s Note: At least it was just the hair she dyed. She could have gone full ‘tan mom’.

Couple forced to restart one year foster carer application...

Sat, 05 May 2012 16:27:25 +0100

Couple forced to restart one year foster carer application because social worker’s handwriting was illegible

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2139579/Couple-forced-restart-year-foster-carer-application-social-workers-handwriting-illegible.html#ixzz1u0e77ZRm

Farm workers banned from pub in one of Britain’s richest...

Fri, 04 May 2012 11:24:30 +0100

Farm workers banned from pub in one of Britain’s richest villages for wearing casual trousers and shirts

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2139018/Farm-workers-banned-pub-Britains-richest-villages-wearing-casual-trousers-shirts.html#ixzz1ttZKGAZj

‘Banned weedkiller caused birth defects in our...

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 15:38:49 +0100

‘Banned weedkiller caused birth defects in our children,’ say British mothers who live on same street (and Erin Brockovich is already fighting case in US against chemical manufacturer)

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2136882/British-mothers-babies-born-street-birth-defect-claim-theyve-cause—banned-weedkiller-battled-US-Erin-Brockovich.html#ixzz1tRMPX57h

Editor’s Note: Judging by that picture, I’m not 100% convinced that the weedkiller is totally to blame for any defects …

Frenzied ferret attacks baby girl in pram… and it takes...

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 15:36:00 +0100

Frenzied ferret attacks baby girl in pram… and it takes two firefighters 25 minutes to fight it off

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2136877/Ferret-attacks-baby-pram-firefighters-spend-25-minutes-trying-fend-off.html#ixzz1tRLixjEz

Editor’s Note: I do like Lola-Mae’s “oh shit I think I can see another one coming!” face in this picture.

Girl, 6, was abandoned at side of A-road by school bus because...

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 16:02:30 +0100

Girl, 6, was abandoned at side of A-road by school bus because there were no staff to escort her

Girl, 9, suffers horrific leg break after out-of-control...

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 15:30:16 +0100

Girl, 9, suffers horrific leg break after out-of-control mobility scooter smashes into her at shop checkout

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2134882/Girl-9-suffers-horrific-leg-break-control-mobility-scooter-smashes-shop-checkout.html#ixzz1t3wUT9kT

Pensioner is thrown off his beloved allotment by council in case...

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 09:05:38 +0100

Pensioner is thrown off his beloved allotment by council in case he hurts his hip and sues

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2124820/Pensioner-thrown-beloved-allotment-council-case-hurts-hip-sues.html#ixzz1r3aYfzLD

Stiff penalty: Two PCSOs ban eight-year-old boy from playing...

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 22:19:21 +0100

Stiff penalty: Two PCSOs ban eight-year-old boy from playing football outside house after he ‘kicked too loudly’

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2124488/Two-PCSOs-ban-boy-playing-football-outside-Bolton-house-kicking-ball-loudly.html#ixzz1r0xqHnpu